The power that lays in your responses
Look at your life from different perspective
1. Instead of a revolution
One of life wisdom says that if you want something new to happen in your life, you also need to do something different than usual. In other words, stop doing the same thing all the time. You do not have to turn your life upside down to make the change happen. Start it yourself by taking one small step e.g.: meet with someone you have not seen in a long time, go to the place you dreamed of, change the habit that takes you a lot of precious time. Act in a different way than you do every day.
2. The praise of traveling
Are you frustrated that nothing changes? Do you often think to quit everything and go to the unknown? Check if it’s just words that are thrown to the wind or the real need to change the environment. If you really need a trip, just leave. Take care of changing the environment, for a few days, weeks, and maybe longer. Every journey, far or near, gives the necessary distance, allows you to look at life from a bird’s perspective, listen to your real needs, answer the question: “What do I really want?”. If you change yourself a bit thanks to traveling, your life will change as well.
3. What new quality do you need?
Ask yourself: In what area of my life do I feel the need to change the most? What exactly would I want to change in this sphere of my life? What can I do to change something? How can I give myself what I need so much? The last question is crucial. We often want this world and other people to give us what we need most. If we do not get it, we feel frustration, anger or sadness. What if we give it to ourselves first? And next – to someone close? Partner, family member, friend?
4. Do not act in the amok
Imagine this situation: you are experiencing a row with your partner or at work someone has accused you of something you have not done. Your emotions are buzzing, stress hormones are circulating, you do not control the words, you are even capable of physical aggression.
This is an emotional amok – a slightly different state of consciousness that distorts the perception of the situation. In such moments we want to change something, finish it as soon as possible. It is better to wait, cool down, breathe, and it’s best to take care of something else. Do not fuel the state of agitation with obsessive thoughts. Decisions taken at the time of emotional distress are usually irrelevant. Often we regret them later.
5. Practice gratitude
This is not a new fashion in the circles of personal development, but a technique that spiritual teachers recommend almost all traditions. The principle is simple: instead of complaining about your life and suffering, that something has not worked or that we have lost something, we focus on what we have. It’s about redirecting attention to fullness. When we start to appreciate what we have, we nourish ourselves emotionally. And suddenly, you may find that you no longer need to break the relationship or change your job violence. You can still wait and enjoy what is.
Basic training
Start with small steps: speak to yourself at least one thing every day for which you thank you for fate. Buy a beautiful notebook and write down everything you are grateful for. The more you write, the better you feel. Although this is only one of the effects of this practice. It’s all about changing thinking. Every day, say to your reflection in the mirror, for which you are grateful. This is not practicing unhealthy selfishness or a narcissistic attitude. It’s taking care of a good relationship with yourself, building yourself up, loving what you are. Every day, tell one person what you are grateful for (sometimes you just need to say “thank you”, which you consciously say to someone close, familiar, shop assistant). Spend a few minutes a day remembering the positive events of your life and feeling grateful that you could have experienced this.
Advanced work
Think about the person you suffered a lot from (for example, the partner who left you, the parent who treated you badly, the friend who failed your trust). Ask yourself: can I be grateful to this person for something? A rational mind will reject this proposal, he will try to undermine it: “How can you be grateful to someone who caused you to suffer so?” It is not an easy job because it affects the wounds that you have in your heart, but it heals them and makes room for forgiveness. Free yourself from grief and anger. You can write a letter to a person from the past – express all emotions in it, put the worst words on paper and then burn what you have written. You can also talk to a therapist, psychologist, trainer, to let the words free emotionally. When you do all this, ask yourself again: “What can I be grateful for this person?” (Eg “thanks to her I looked at my eyes, changed something in my life, I started a new chapter”). The highest degree of development is to see teachers in difficult experiences.
6.Trust the course of events
You think about life change, but you still have doubts, what do you really want? Postpone this matter for a while. Let life itself show you what is best for you. Sometimes the solution is to apply the philosophy of “wu wei” (doing nothing as our choice). You surrender to life, trust, or let go of mind control. Usually, nothing happens for a long time just to change this one element that turns everything upside down. As if life was saying to us: “You wanted change, you got it!” Instead of waiting for life to move from the hoof, it’s better to start being present here and now. It is also worth stopping before making an important decision, if a lot and chaotic happen around you, something breaks down, something does not work at the last minute…
